Times of crisis or stress usually are very unexpected, and can cause high levels of stress for children and adults. Here are 6 simple things you can do (no matter what age) to find comfort during hard times.
1. BREATHE Breathing may seem simple, but it is an easy and powerful way to give ourselves some comfort. Even during times when it seems there is nothing we can do, we can control our breath. When we breathe deep, inhaling through our nose, and exhaling through our mouth, our brain receives oxygen, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn makes us feel calm. How can you tell if you are breathing deeply enough to relax? Put your hand on your stomach and see if it is moving. As you inhale, count to 4 slowly, then pause, then exhale, counting to 4 slowly again. You can repeat your breaths, until your brain has enough oxygen. 2. CONNECT SOCIALLY Connecting with our support group is one of the main things that can help us during crisis or stressful situations. Isolating ourselves makes our stress levels go higher. Our support group can be family, friends, co-workers, teachers, or anyone who makes us feel loved. In times of required social distancing, we aren't allowed to have many person-to-person connections, but we can still connect with the people we care about emotionally. Letters, pictures, phone calls, e-mails, texts, or video calls are a great way to spread some love, and connect with our support system. 3. ROUTINE Routine is a great way to give us a sense of control during stressful times or crisis situations. When our routine is interrupted, this can often trigger stress. Keeping a routine as much as we can during these interruptions gives us a sense of control during these stressful times or situations, where we feel like we don't have any. Sticking to the basics, like brushing our teeth, showering, daily exercise, family meal times, etc. can help ease our unwanted emotions. For children, a routine is essential for healthy development. These daily routines foster creativity, security, and comfort for children, along with meaningful family time. 4. KEEP A JOURNAL When we hold our feelings in, and bottle them up inside, it only increases our unwanted emotions. Journaling is a great way to get our feelings out and check in with ourselves. Knowing that we don't have to show others what we write can allow us to can be honest and open. Try to write down your moods, your worries, or anything else that you want to say. You can use a scale of 1-10 to rate your anxiety, anger, depression, etc to be able to better connect with yourself. When you see the numbers you write, be kind to yourself without judgement. Honor your feelings, write about them, and leave it at that. You could also have a separate journal just for things you are grateful for and why. You can use a paper journal, journaling app, a private blog, or even take notes on your phone. 5. SET BOUNDARIES WITH NEWS AND MEDIA CONSUMPTION Studies show that increased media time, whether watching the news on TV, reading the paper, or even checking news notifications on a smart phone, can increase our anxiety and depression. It often leads to catastrophizing our thoughts and trying to predict the future, which aren't helpful for our mental well-being. Setting boundaries with media consumption helps us stay in the present moment. Ask yourself, "how am I feeling while I scroll through, watch, or read this media?" If you notice that you are getting more worried, anxious, or feeling bad about yourself when you read the news, set some limits and boundaries for yourself. It's good and ok to stay connected and informed, but be mindful of how it's making you feel. This is also helpful for kids in what they read, see, and hear, so be conscious of the things you talk about in front of them. The same principle applies to social media, or any other habit or influence that we may notice causing additional anxiety or worry. 6. SELF-VALIDATE Saying kind things to ourselves is helpful to our thoughts and emotions. Say true things to yourself like "It's ok that I'm feeling this right now," "I am going through a hard time and I'm feeling ____. I'm going to give myself some compassion," "My feelings matter," or "I can do hard things. I've done hard things before." Be accepting of your emotions. Say these types of things to your children and others for practice, and to help them feel validated as well. It is just as important to validate ourselves as it is others.
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