Everyone has times where we feel anxious or mad, or we have emotions that we can't seem to control. It is the same with children. Many of these emotions can be explained by what's going on in our brain. The brain is an amazing organ that does so much. It is one of the most important organs in our body. It does things for us that we probably don't even realize it's doing! This post is to help children understand what is going on in their brain when they are feeling angry, anxious, worried, or scared about something. Helping children understand their brain helps them have a language to better talk about their feelings. I have explained this to each class at the school, so I wanted to write about it on our blog, so parents can use the same language at home with your children. There are many different parts to our brain, but there are 3 parts that have to deal with our emotions that we are going to discuss today: The Pre-Frontal Cortex (Smart Brain), Hippocampus (Memory Brain), and the Amygdala (Safety Brain). These are the parts of the brain that can explain many of your child's meltdowns. Our Pre-Frontal Cortex or the Smart Brain is in charge of rational thinking, decision making, problem solving, and personality. This is the part of the brain that is usually in control, and we want it to be that way. The Hippocampus or Memory Brain is in charge of memory. It sends signals to our Pre-Frontal Cortex, and helps us make good decisions. For example. when you did something nice for someone else, you felt good, so the Memory Brain sends signals to the Pre-Frontal Cortex saying, "Let's do that again." The Amygdala or the Safety Brain is in charge of emotion, survival instincts, and pleasure. When we are in danger, the safety brain tells us to Fight, Flight, or Freeze, and that keeps us safe. This is the part of the brain that makes us get out of the street if a car is coming (Flight). In order to keep us safe, it blocks the signals going from the Memory Brain to the Smart Brain. When those signals are blocked, the Safety Brain takes charge of the entire brain, so our reasoning and rational thinking leave. There is only one thing important when this happens: our safety. The Safety Brain is a very useful and necessary part of the brain, and I'm sure many of us would not be here without it. However, sometimes the Safety Brain gets overactive, and blocks those signals, telling us that we are in danger, when in fact, we are not. It puts us in a state of fight, flight, or freeze, and that is why reasoning and rational thinking leave. When a person is experiencing anxiety or anger, their Safety Brain has taken control, and they start exhibiting behaviors like being afraid of school when they have lots of friends, emotional meltdowns, trying to run away, punching, kicking, or any form of aggression, OCD patterns, asking a lot of questions, etc. None of these behaviors seem to make sense at times, and it's because the child's Pre-frontal cortex is not in control. There are many techniques to calm down the Safety Brain and let the Smart Brain be in charge. The 3 tips that I taught the kids in school are 1. Take a deep breath. In through your nose for 4 seconds and out through your mouth for 4 seconds. 2. Clench your fists super tight, then relax and melt like butter (progressive muscle relaxation) and 3. Tell your safety brain "That's a Lie" and practice telling your brain the true information. (ex. I have done school before, and my mom will come and pick me up as soon as it's over." When we talk to children, we can ask them things like, "Is your safety brain or your smart brain in charge right now?," "Let's take some deep breaths to help your smart brain be in control." I have asked kids these types of questions, when they are having friend problems (ex: "Was your friend using their smart brain when they called you that mean name?), meltdowns, big emotions, and even explaining addictions or abuse. Using this type of language with children can be a useful tool to help them understand their emotions and the world around them.
1 Comment
Melissa
2/6/2023 10:08:51 am
wonderful, practical resources. thank you!
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